...And a Partridge in a Pear Tree

'Tis the season for lists--from a child's Christmas wish list to Santa's own list of who's been bad and who's been good, from Maria's list of "a few of [her] favorite things" to the ridiculous catalog of gifts the "true love" gives on each of the consecutive 12 days of Christmas. (And you know this time of year every schmo with a blog will be gracing our lives with his end-of-year lists.)

Here's another list--this one from Focus on the Family's late '80s investigation of the 2 Live Crew album, As Nasty As They Wanna Be. God bless James Dobson and his crack team of morality police for listening to this album over and over and over again to identify and classify the following motifs:

• 226 uses of the f-word
• 117 explicit terms for male or female genitalia
• 87 descriptions of oral sex
• 163 uses of the word for female dog
• 15 uses of ho (slang for whore) when referring to women
• 81 uses of the vulgarity s--t
• 42 uses of the word ass
• 9 descriptions of male ejaculation
• 6 references to erections
• 4 descriptions of group sex
• 3 mentions of rimming (oral/anal sex)
• 2 inclusions of urination or feces
• 1 reference to incest
• over 12 illustrations of violent sex