Misheard Lyrics!...Christmas Edition!

When you're standing around the piano, pouring eggnog down your gullet while you sing Christmas carols, it's pret-ty amusing the kinds of things that can come out of your mouth--before the spiced, milky vomit, I mean. And it's even worse when there's other people there as well. You hear things like, "That's not how the song goes, you communist!" Or, "You're going to rot in hell for that!" Or, "Who invited Frosty the Retard to our party?" Or, "You've got an eggnog bubble coming out of your left nostril." Or even, "That's the sickest, most perverted version of 'Silent Night' I've ever heard. I'm so hot for you right now."

Anywho. Here are a few examples of Christmas lyrics I get wrong every year!

1.

Real Lyrics: "You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen..." (Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

Misheard Lyrics: "You know Ted Danson the Dancer goes pantsing with Nixon, Vomit and Stupid and Boner and Shitzen..."

2.

Real Lyrics: "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,/ Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh." (Jingle Bells)

Misheard Lyrics: "Taco Bell, Taco Bell, Taco Bell's new Stuffed Gordito Burrito/ Oh what fun it is to eat when the drive-thru stays open late."

3.

Real Lyrics: "We're gliding along with a song of a wintery fairy land." (Sleigh Ride)

Misheard Lyrics: "We're gliding along with a song in a slippery fanny land."

4.

Real Lyrics: "Deck the halls with boughs of holly/ Fa la la la la, la la la la" (Deck the Halls)

Misheard Lyrics: "Smack my balls with bowls of barley/ Yum yum yum yum yum, hee hee hee hee."

5.

Real Lyrics: Unknown ("Angels We Have Heard on High")

Misheard Lyrics: "O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oreo, in eggshells with mayo!"

Merry Christmas, everyone! From all of us here at Hustla of Cultcha to you and yours!