Pop Cultural Euphemisms for Masturbation and/or Bowel Movements

1. indicting Scooter Libby
2. sending another potential American Idol to Hollywood
3. ridin' dirty
4. checking in with Wolf Blitzer in the Situation Room
5. TiVo-ing "Ugly Betty"
6. posting to my blog
7. test-firing a Taepodong 2 missile in North Korea
8. moving Little Miss Sunshine to the top of my Netflix queue
9. Googling myself
10. dropping my new single
    
11. conducting another uncomfortable interview with Dick Cheney
    
12. opening up to Dr. Phil
13. sending junk mail to my Spam folder
    
14. considering having Diddy produce my new album
15. shrugging off global warming